It's All About Energy
Does your relationship rocket you to the stars or sink you like a stone? The importance of energy in a relationship – how to enhance it and how to kill it.
Inside every human being is a life source from which comes life-force in the form of an energy. This is the energy that grows your hair, that heals your body, that sends the blood coursing through your veins. It is the pulsation you feel when you are resting quietly, like a stream of electricity tingling through your body, without you having to do anything to make it happen.
It is this energy which, when it is harmony with another person, can rocket you to the stars, or when at odds with them, will sink you like a stone. We are like radio transmitters with our energy – we affect everything around us with our thoughts, feelings and actions and it emanates from us like radio signals to be picked up by those on a similar wave-length to us. People who are particularly sensitive can even see our energy around our heads and body in our aura, sometimes in color but certainly as a fuzzy pattern around the body.
It is this energy that we pick up on when we meet someone and when we are in connection with them, in our communications and in our interaction with them. Different from chemistry, this energy also can affect us in a remarkable way, so it makes sense to enhance it in every way possible. Communion and the ecstasy that lovers experience in one another’s company is the direct result of the merging of their two energies.
The beauty of a good relationship is self-realization – to be all that we can be with the presence of someone else alongside us; two people creating a mental and emotional climate which is so in harmony that it draws out their spirit. When you combine the two energies you really can create magic together, because the joining of the two creates a third energy which seems to guide and protect you; something much more than just the sum of the parts, and you gain a profound intimate connection, communion and a deeper participation in life.
So does your relationship rocket you to the stars, enabling you to express who you truly are with joy and inspiration? Does it make you feel good about yourself, good about the future and positive about life? Does it bring out the best in you? Do you feel healthier and rejuvenated, whole and nourished, loved and loving towards your partner? Do you feel connected and at one with your partner?
This is how a good relationship will make you feel. Love is a state of beingness; it is not an emotion that is subject to whims and passing fads. Love is energetic, love is creative. Love is within you and emanates from you, enduring and heartfelt no matter what is happening around you. If that sounds idealistic, it is because it is rather rare in this throwaway society, because love is in your actions and in the way you speak, move and touch those you love and care about – just in the way you turn up. Does that mean you will never have moments of feeling that you don’t like your partner or that they irritate you or that you want to get away? No, it just means that like the foundations of a house, it is deep and broad and will withstand the storms and raging that go on in life. Love is a gifting and a receiving – it is a generosity of spirit and when you have the desire to sustain and nurture it, like a beautiful plant it can bloom to reveal something truly inspirational.
Ideally when we love and are in love with another there is no conflict even though there may be differences of opinion. Or you can choose to enter a relationship where you think so much of the other that there will be no conflict. What you bring to the relationship makes a tremendous difference – if you are bringing positivity, a healthy way of thinking, an enjoyment of life no matter what it throws at you, and a willingness to be flexible and generous, the energy will be high. If on the other hand you are bringing old negative memories, hurt, resentment, guilt and shame, you will lower the energy dramatically. So what are you bringing with you? What are you transmitting? What are you receiving?
How do we create energy?
Much of it is by our thought patterns which influence the way our energy flows. Our temperament allows flow or blocks it. Also, what we put into our body, our food, drink, chemicals, exposure to technology, the way we move and our environment have strong influences on our energy. But what drains our energy mostly is anger, depression, misery and negative thoughts, particularly blame, resentment and shame – these are the most damaging, both health-wise and for any relationship. So when you learn some of the other techniques discussed in these articles about learning to be present, you can drop many of these lower energy-drainers, and focus your attention to enhance and strengthen the connection between you, increasing your happiness and joy exponentially.
Exercise
You can do this by truly being together without thought – when you are walking together, really be in the moment giving your full attention to each other. Holding hands, allow energy from your heart to go down your arm into your hand and through to their hand and thus flow up to the heart of your loved one. When we totally flow with another person, we add their energy to ours, so there is no forcing of one’s will against the other, and a new rhythm is established for that time, full of hope, promise and creativity. Really look into their eyes when you are talking and connect soul to soul.
Energy boosters
Let go of stress by doing things you love to do; learn to relax; let go of limiting beliefs and create more life-enhancing ones; stop thinking fearful thoughts and learn to embrace the unknown, as that is where creativity and excitement lie. Take full responsibility for your emotional state and become more conscious of your moods; move your body and change your energy; empower yourself with new positive beliefs; learn to meditate and control the chatterbox voice in your head; watch your language and use positive uplifting vocabulary; be in allowance of who you are and not try to be perfect; laugh; reduce/avoid/ stop watching TV and listening to the news/reading news which makes you feel hopeless and helpless; plan time out for fun, rest time and holidays; plan time for romance and meaningful conversation; touch, cuddle, make time for romance and make love; use positive language; drink 2 litres of water per day. Veggie juicing; eat more raw life-energy food and salads; eat low GI (slow sugar release foods) avoid processed meals and refined foods; eat organic food where possible; ditch the microwave; cut down on eating out/takeaways; commit to paying it forward and contributing to others; give yourself the gift of regular pampering such as Massage, Reflexology; regular daily deep breathing; regular exercise which you enjoy, with proper recovery/stretching; daily walks outside in sunlight and regular walks in nature; feng shui your home and work environment; clear the clutter; remove and avoid toxic household and personal care products; meet up regularly with positive like-minded people; reward yourself with indulgences that make you feel good.
To become aware of and harness this energy and ultimately gain access to its source is to cease mental effort – tune into your energy and find out what it wants of you. It is the still small voice within that often gets drowned by our self talk. We need to learn to relax and listen, mentally as well as physically. It’s not easy in our often hectic life, but it is possible, particularly as you just wake up in the morning and as you go to sleep at night. This is a time that can be likened to hypnosis – it is the state between waking and dreaming and is a perfect time to put in a new program or way of thinking.
Exercise
Lie down and relax and give your attention to your source and its force. Empty your mind of all knowledge, all judgments, limitations and negative thoughts as you breathe out any stress and tension, any worries and fears, and allow your body to sink into the bed or the chair.
Now run a movie of your own desires through your head as you want your relationship to be. Put in it as much detail as possible – the sights colors and textures, the sounds, the smells, tastes and how you really desire feeling. Imagine yourself in a beautiful place with your beloved, enjoying life together and sharing it the way that makes your heart light up. Really connect with what’s around you in this movie, and enhance your feelings – imagine you can turn the buttons up on your movie and make the picture brighter and sharper, and intensify your emotions so you can really feel that loving intensity, really enjoy the togetherness. Feel the buzz of energy through your body as your picture takes form.
Play this movie over and over again both first thing in the morning and last thing at night and after a while your unconscious mind will start to take it on as a new program and will start searching through your day to day activities to try and bring that picture into reality. When you offer this movie rather like a prayer, the Universe will respond – maybe not in the time frame you would prefer, but respond it will as long as you wrap the whole of your mind around this desire and don’t allow any negativity to creep in. Then when your inner voice prompts you to take action, you must do so.
What if you had all that kind of wonderful energy continually running through your body? The magic of it is that when you feel it flowing, it will direct you. You can put hopes and dreams onto the energy and watch them materialize. Go with the flow trusting that Life is indeed looking after you.
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