Searching For The Truth

The word ‘soul’ is defined as the essential being of a person, the immaterial, immortal, pure part of us. The word ‘mate’ is defined as associate, friend or spouse. Put the two together and it becomes clear that a soulmate is actually anyone who helps us to get in touch with that truest part of our self.

Our true essence is here all the time, it is not something we have to search for, it is who we are already. Searching is a mechanism of the mind designed to keep us ever busy looking for something outside of us, yet why do we need to search if we already are that essence? Does a flower spend its life looking for ways to be a flower or does it already know that it is a flower and therefore all it does is BE a flower?

We have lost sight of what we really are because we all have our unique identities, and that ‘character’ which we show to the outside world is who we believe ourselves to be. However, the reality is that the beliefs, emotions, behaviors, thoughts and reactions that make up the person we see in the mirror are all simply a product of our growing environment. What we were each exposed to in our formative years literally created the human personality we are today.

The purpose of a soulmate is to help us recognize the truth of our human characteristics so that we can come to peace with them. It is to alert us to all the different aspects of our identity, particularly those which we have not yet seen or acknowledged because they are hidden beneath layers of pain and protective covering. It is to help us BE with all that we are, so that in the being we can reveal ALL that we are.

The journey with a soulmate, contrary to the romantic depiction of eternal harmony, is actually a hugely challenging one. It is designed to bring to conscious awareness all those parts of us which we have done our best to hide or deny – where we protect our heart, where we manipulate ourselves to fit other’s expectations, where we act a certain way to give the impression of control, where we are not true to ourselves because we are scared of confrontation, where we hide behind a constructed persona to shield ourselves from repeating painful experiences, where we lead lifestyles or have jobs or ‘passions’ that give an impression of happiness but actually mask deep inner dissatisfaction, where we have developed coping mechanisms to get us through. None of these are easy to confront and none are easy to accept, so the task of a soulmate is not just to open your eyes but to be with you through the pain.

Emotional and spiritual growth and the ultimate recognition of our true essence can not be achieved without inner exploration. A soulmate who appears for us is simultaneously receiving us as a soulmate for them. It is a two-way relationship – neither one has the exalted role of saviour. It is a mutual entering into a new arena in which openness, trust and the ability to not take what is revealed as a personal attack is of enormous importance. When old patterns are challenged and what needs to be seen comes to light, the temptation will be to find fault with your soulmate and walk away, but walking away will only delay the inevitable.

The most mature relationship and the one most likely to survive and thrive is the one where both partners are willing to explore. The method of exploration is not important – you may have common approaches (which may limit the overall perspective) or you may come from different backgrounds (which can allow for insights not possible when seen through a single lens), but if you are both willing to sit in the fire together, no matter what, then what will be revealed outweighs any romantic imagery the mind can conjure up.

Outer happiness is dependent on inner happiness because they are reflections of each other. Your soulmate is here to help you find both by recognizing and coming to peace with all that you are – and you are here to do exactly the same for them.